Joining a swinger group
Joining a swinger group
by Eric Nevski
You have probably heard that besides swing clubs many couples attend parties organized by what's called lifestyle groups. Many swingers who have never been to one usually think that a group party is something like a low-budget swing club ran out of someone's apartment. However, nothing could be further from the truth. Groups are not smaller versions of the swing clubs - they are actually more personalized versions of the whole swinging community. There are as many groups out there as there are flavors of swinging. Each group caters to a particular type of swingers and makes it easier for everybody to enjoy the lifestyle within the environment of the like-minded people.
No matter what you hear, most groups are not for newbies. Most of them cater to people who have tried the lifestyle for a while and have figured out what they are looking for. Some groups are for couples who are looking for single men, some are for those looking for single women, some - for a certain age group, and others - for a specific fetish. The list of the different kinds of groups is endless, and if you are comfortable in the lifestyle, there is probably one for you where most people are like you and your partner.
The majority of the groups are put together by couples who have been in the lifestyle for a long time. Most of them host the parties at their own homes. Each party is by invitation only and everybody who wants to join gets "screened" by the couple running the group. The screening is mainly to make sure that only people who are looking for exactly the same end up at the party, where at a swing club all types and flavors of people are welcome to show up as long as they pay the cover.
Most groups are organized by people who are passionate about the lifestyle. They put their hearts and souls into it and finance everything themselves. When you are at a group party you will probably be asked for a donation, but won't be pressured to pay at all. The place will probably be much homier than an average swing club. You'll find more choice at the snacks and drinks table. Some go as far as preparing a full dinner for all of the members. People who have driven from a great distance will be welcomed to stay a night and will be served with breakfast the next morning. You'll feel like a part of a family.
It is important to pick the right group to join. Most likely by the time you're ready to look into joining a group you'll know of one you're interested in already, as the couples that you have met in the lifestyle before have told you about it. Make sure to ask lots of questions. The best way to find out details about a group you're interested in is by contacting its owner and getting the information first hand. You will probably be asked several questions yourself as the owner will try to figure out if you'll be a good fit in the group or if there are other places that may cater to your needs better.
Once you arrive at a group party, you will probably recognize some of the people there that you have seen before - couples from your previous encounters, people who have recommended the group to you and of course - the hosts. If you don't jump into the party right away, you'll probably find that others will come up and introduce themselves to you. Many will go out of their way to make you feel at home. Hosts will make sure that you are comfortable as well and will check up on you throughout the evening.
Once the evening gets started, many groups will come up with ice breakers to get the party to a next level. Besides regular introductions members will play adult games, watch X-rated movies and participate in other activities that will get everyone involved and loosened up. You will get to know other people better as the evening goes on. Those who know you will probably recommend and introduce you to others who they think maybe a good match for you for the evening.
As you spend some time in the lifestyle, you'll make many friends and at one point, you yourself will end up in your own "invisible" group whether you know it or not. The circle of lifestyle friends that you will be spending your time with will get to a point where you'll find that organizing your own group is a next natural step. As many others have had the same feeling and tried to put together a group before, their efforts were not always successful. Many don't realize that it is a lot of work and costs quite a bit of money. You must also have a good place, like your house, to host the party at. This doesn't mean you should be discouraged from putting a group together, but you should think everything through very carefully before you do.
Screening for couples to your own party is also not as easy as it may sound. You must know and understand the lifestyle very well to be sure to put together a group of people with the same interests and the right dynamic. You will need to find out as much as possible about everybody who applies to become a member at your group. Most likely you have met them before, but there are also some that you'll talk to for the first time. See if they are a good fit in all aspects: sexuality, age group, fetish interests, cultural background, etc. If you do your screening right - you'll find your party electrolyzed from all the chemistry you've put together.
It is hard to describe all aspects and types of the lifestyle groups as there are more of them than you can count. If you feel like you're ready to find one to spend most of your lifestyle time in, look around and you'll most likely come across one shortly. Do you homework and enjoy your experience!